God is a Mystery
Your Higher Power, or “God,” is something you will experience rather than understand intellectually. If you struggle to put it into words, you're probably on the right track! Access to it is an inalienable part of being human. It is activated through your Awareness, your choice, your invitation to It, and it is sustained through your behavior.
I’ve heard God described as a mystery. It does not reveal itself through science, ultimatum, or wishful thinking. It does not need you to believe in it. It has infinite patience, and will allow you to make your choices. It is available to you, but will not force itself on you. Organizations representing divinity might market themselves to you, or push their philosophies, but the Mystery will not. I believe it offers you glimpses along the way—sometimes gently and sometimes painfully—letting you know it’s there, but ultimately you have volition. If you choose to incorporate it into your life, it is available through your personal, interior experience, and the development of your spiritual practice.
Another word for God is Spirit. Related, you might seek “Spirituality,” or a “Spiritual life.” This simply means inviting Spirit into your life daily, performing some contemplation and discernment about what a spiritual life is to you, listening to the guidance of your practice, and then very importantly—behaving into that guidance. The reason the behavior is so important is because we can talk and philosophize about spirituality or God-consciousness all we want. However, our behavior is ultimately to best of evidence of our beliefs. If we preach honesty, non-judgement, and willingness as our spiritual principles, but our behavior is less-than-honest, judging, and avoiding, then our life is out of alignment with our principles. We are merely saying spiritual stuff.
I said earlier that the Mystery has infinite patience. It’s like sunlight on your door. It will never push. It will only come in when you open it yourself.
The Mystery is so humble that it created you with the innate ability to choose if you believe it exists, and want to remain connected to it during your lifetime.
Deep down, I have always had a sense of something. Without being raised religious, and if anything I came from a family of resentful, “recovering Catholics,” I can still recall laying in bed as a boy and having a conversation with some universal force that was not me, and not another person. I’ve known there was something beyond my five senses, always.
Today, as an adult with lots of self-awareness and of course free-will, I cannot imagine anything more meaningful, or fulfilling than a life inspired by a divine connection personal to me. Furthermore, I have tried every other strategy to feel the way I want to feel:
I’ve looked to other people to be my inspiration and source of validation
I’ve looked to money to be my security
I’ve spent countless days resisting and resenting reality, blaming my parents, the government, industry and other organizations
My final stop—the last house on the block for me—was to turn toward the opposite of self-reliance and contempt toward that which would not reveal itself to me exactly how I wanted it to. I turned toward a spiritual Power, a God, that I now understand protects me from nothing and supports me through everything. This God is slowly revealing the perfection of my life to me. It is showing me that every event I’ve judged as painful or every time I’ve suffered, there was a purpose. Sometimes there was psychological or emotional development, however always the events in my life have pushed me back toward alignment with my Spirit, my God, my Higher Power. This power reveals the purpose of my life to me.
One day at a time, the Mystery is helping me release who I think I should be, to become who I was intended to be.